She was visiting a cousin or someone
I'm with the only friend that I could find
She's just as close as that pay phone
I'll call collect, she won't mind

I'll make fun of her ex-boyfriend
I'll ask her what she wants to name our kids
She'll tell me she can't live without me
I'll call her Nancy until she calls me Sid

Nothing really matters
Everything reminds me of
The fact that nothing matters
When you're drunk and in love
Drunk and in love

Spent my last dollar on this silk purse in Chinatown
It's got this picture of a pumpkin
I don't even know if she'll like it, it doesn't matter
I just want to give her something

All the dead doves in the windows
Are croaking out my happy song
All the junkies wiping windshields
They can't help but sing along

Nothing really matters
Everything reminds me of
The fact that nothing matters
When you're drunk and in love
Drunk and in love

She's asleep in some other timezone
I'm with a friend who wonders where I've been
I want to tell her why she's so amazing
She's not here so I'll just tell him

I'll tell her how much I really miss her
I'll ask her if she's wearing any clothes
I'll ask her what she'd do if I died tomorrow
I'll make her tell me something no one knows

I'll tell her all about the silk purse
That was going to be a surprise
Tell her what I want for Christmas
I'll sing a song about her eyes

Nothing really matters
Everything reminds me of
The fact that nothing matters
When you're drunk and in love
Drunk and in love