[montel]
Some people like to relax in casinos,
Others get their kicks shoving powder up their nose,
That's how it is, that's how it is,
That's how it is, that's how it is,
Some people chill with a pill or a reefer,
Others like to eat their lunch off a whore's beaver,
That's how it is, that's how it is,
For some, morning mass,
For others, hairy ass.

I got a need, a special desire,
A little thing, a harmless thing, which sets my soul on fire,
Which sends we spinning into space and puts me in a trance.
A little thing, a harmless thing!
A little thing, a harmless thing!

I just wanna shit my pants.
Oh, i just wanna shit my pants.
Oh, pooping in my calvin kleins!

(scats)

It might seem pathetic,
Might show a lack of class,
I only feel the real me,
When the shit's pooring out of my ass.

[jerry (spoken)]
So, spit it out, montel! what's the big secret?

[montel]
I had to get my diaper action.
I had to get my diaper action.
I've been seeing baby jane!